I’ve been an angry person for as long as I can remember. Even the smallest spark can set me off. Being aggressive. Being angry. Being furious.
For the past two years, I’ve been reading a lot about suppressing my anger. Stoic philosophy, in particular, has been incredibly helpful in this regard. It helped me suppress my anger and rage. And honestly, in the beginning, I thought I was feeling mentally better.
But then I realized something: the more I suppress my anger, the softer I become—and the less fuel I have to push toward my goals.
For the past two or three months, I’ve stopped choosing to suppress my anger. I let it flow. I release it—and I feel better. Turns out, what made me “me” was actually this very anger, aggression, and ambition.
Even though my goals in the online world remained somewhat alive, I wasn’t aggressively moving toward them anymore. I didn’t have the same drive. The same hunger.
I realized I needed a new goal.
Over the past four years, I’ve read tons of books about building companies and corporate structures. Most of these books focused on the service industry. The challenge for me was adapting those teachings to the online work I was doing, which wasn’t always straightforward. But I overcame those challenges and managed to build the system I wanted.
Now, I need a new goal. I feel I need to charge toward this new goal with the same aggression and intensity as before—but I couldn’t quite see the path ahead.
That path has become clear now.
I’ve decided to start a new company—one that will allow me to test everything I’ve learned about building mature organizations. It will also be a way to diversify my investments. I’ll be in the service sector.
Some friends of mine—local business owners—made subtle remarks implying that I won’t make it. That only fueled me more. As my fire and aggression return, the path is becoming clearer, and those who say “you can’t” are becoming my fuel.
Just like back in 2015, when I first moved to Istanbul and was told I wouldn’t make it.
We’ll see.
This photo was taken in 2015. The very first image of my journey, starting alone in a 1+1 apartment, running a home office. Nothing in hand. No money. Just intellect and ambition.
